I have always struggled in school. I was a premature baby, my mom is struggling, we’re poor, and I just have a lot going on, but I passed the test last year. Every since kindergarten, I’ve always failed those test at the end of the year. However, in third grade according to my principal and teachers, it was super serious now. But I failed the test in third and fourth grade too. Well, I passed the test in fifth grade and everything is different now.
Before I passed, I was almost famous. Everybody knew me and knew all of my information. They knew all of my scores in all subjects on the state assessment. They knew my lexile scores, they knew my gains in reading and math, they knew my reading level, and even knew the days absent and how many times I was late for school. They knew it all.
Now that I’ve passed the test everyone’s gone and it’s totally different. It’s almost like I’m not at school. There’s no more excitement or pep rally for me doing better, there’s no more meetings with my mom, all of the teacher’s don’t know my information anymore, I’m no longer a rock star, and now I’m almost never privately asked the questions – Do you understand or do you need some help? This was important to me because I’m shy and didn’t want everyone to know I didn’t know the answers.
To be honest it was cool when I was failing. Everyone was concerned about me and made me feel special. Even people from the fancy building downtown came to my school and gave us a speech. I have none of that now and I’m all by myself because I passed the test in the spring. I have six more years of school left and I’m always asking myself the question – I passed the test, now what?